How to Handle Sensory Meltdowns and Avoid Tantrums – A Guide for Parents

In this blog post, we’ll provide a guide for parents on how to handle meltdowns and tantrums and how to avoid them. We’ll discuss the differences between meltdowns and tantrums, and provide tips on how to recognize the signs and manage them when they occur.

What is a Sensory Meltdown?

A meltdown is a state of emotional or mental distress. During a meltdown, an individual can experience intense emotions and difficulty controlling their behavior. It’s a response to being overwhelmed by sensory input.  Children with sensory processing disorder and autism spectrum disorder can easily become overwhelmed by sensory information.

Meltdowns can look different for different people, but some common signs of a meltdown include:

• Crying
• Screaming
• Hitting
• Yelling
• Refusing to do something
• Lashing out
• Self-harming
• Repetitive behavior
• Hyperactivity
• Self-injurious behavior
• Disruptive behavior

The types of sensory meltdowns that are commonly confused with tantrums are the types where a child acts out there are also sensory meltdowns that involve shutting down when they are overwhelmed. Those will be discussed further in a future post.

It’s important to recognize that meltdowns are not intentional and that it’s the child’s way of coping with an overwhelming situation.

How to Recognize the Signs of a Meltdown vs Tantrum

It’s important to recognize the signs of a meltdown before it occurs so that you can take steps to prevent it. Common signs of an impending meltdown include:

• Irritability
• Restlessness
• Increased or decreased energy levels
• Unusual behaviors
• Difficulty focusing
• Avoidance of certain activities
• increased or decreased talking
• Sensory triggers (loud noises, being touched, smells)
• Repetitive behaviors or stim in an attempt to self-calm

It’s important to remember that these signs are not always indicative of a meltdown, but they can be useful in recognizing the signs of an impending meltdown.

How to Manage Meltdowns

Recognizing your child is becoming overwhelmed and taking action PRIOR to the meltdown is the most important part of managing meltdowns. The goal is to reduce the number of meltdowns and the sensory overload your child experiences.

Once a meltdown has started, it’s important to take steps to manage it and help the child cope with their emotions. The most important thing to remember is to remain calm and not to take the meltdown personally. It’s important to try to remain patient and understanding, and to provide a supportive and calming environment for the child.

It’s also important to try to identify the cause of the meltdown, as this can help you to address the underlying issue and prevent future meltdowns. Some strategies you can use to help manage a meltdown include:

• Remove the child from the over-stimulating situation
• Provide a safe and comfortable environment
• Allow the child to express their feelings on the concern
• Demonstrate ways to regulate their bodies and feelings such as breathing techniques
• Offer comfort and reassurance with a calming steady voice
• Talk to the child in a quiet and understanding way
• Validate the child’s feelings “I understand loud noises are unsettling. We will leave as soon as possible”

What can I do to Prevent Meltdowns?

Once you recognize your child's sensory triggers, you can help incorporate calming activities before a full meltdown occurs. Or avoid the situations that overwhelm your child.

If your child is having a lot of tantrums and/or meltdowns a pediatric occupational therapist can help you determine and react appropriately to your child's sensory triggers. If your child is under the age of 3, consider a referral to your state's early intervention program if you suspect a developmental delay may e a contributing factor.

Meltdowns in Adults

It is important to recognize that adults can have meltdowns too. Meltdowns in adults are way more common than tantrums :). For many adults (and children) a sensory trigger is hunger. Not everyone recognizes the signs of hunger before they occur, thus the newly coined term “Hangry“.

They can also be triggered by other forms of sensory overload or sensory overstimulation. Such as bright lights, crowds, or noise. It is important to recognize your own triggers and then form a plan to remove yourself from the situation, remove the stimuli, or use calming techniques.

What is a Tantrum?

A tantrum is an outburst of behavior characterized by intense emotions and physical actions. It’s usually seen in young children as a result of frustration or wanting something that they cannot have.

While tantrums are common in young children, it’s important to note that they can also occur in older children and even adults.  Tantrums can be from decreased emotional regulation abilities when dealing with frustrations. 

Tantrums are normal reactions in young children to frustration at not getting what they want and are very developmentally appropriate, especially with 2 year olds.

Common signs of temper tantrums include:

• Crying
• Screaming
• Hitting
• Yelling
• Refusing to do something
• Lashing out
• Self-harming
• Shutting down

Tantrums are behavioral responses to not getting their way. Tantrums are normal responses to children learning boundaries, testing limits and learning control.

Tantrums are:

• Manipulative in nature. The child is attempting to control the situation and learn what works.
• Stops when the child's needs are met or the child's behaviors are not serving the purpose. (IE they realize they get their way or they realize they will NOT get their way)
• Child learns from adult responses and tantrums diminish over time in similar situations. If an adult gives into tantrums or is inconsistent with their response, then tantrums can get bigger and more often instead of reducing as is developmentally appropriate.
• The child has some control over their reaction. They may look around for reactions (a sure-fire sign the outburst is a tantrum), or vary the intensity of their actions.

How to Recognize the Signs of Tantrums

It’s important to recognize the signs of an impending tantrum before it occurs so that you can take steps to prevent it. Common signs of an impending tantrum include a child becoming more irritable, restless, and less able to listen to logic.

How to Handle Tantrums

Once a tantrum has started, it’s important to take steps to manage it and help the child cope with their emotions. The most important thing to remember is to remain calm and not to take the tantrum personally. It’s important to try to remain patient and understanding, and to provide a supportive and calming environment for the child.

It’s also important to respond consistently to a child's request. Children don't always understand adult logic and why it is sometimes ok to have dessert before dinner or stand in a grocery car, but not at other times.

It is especially important to not give in after you tell your child no. Intermittent reinforcement is the strongest kind of reinforcement. Which means if you want your child to have more tantrums, give in some, but not all of the time. They will keep going until they get the result they want.

Some tantrum behavioral strategies you can use to help manage a tantrum include:

• Stay quiet and don't react
• Talk in a quiet and calm voice
• Repeat only the same answer you initially gave
• Give your child time and space to calm down
• Validate the child’s feelings by saying things such as “I know you're mad!”
• Model appropriate angry behavior. Stop your feet and hit a pillow.
• Allow the child to express their emotions
• Redirect the child’s attention
• Praise positive behavior when they do act appropriately or after they calm down

How do you tell the difference between a meltdown vs tantrum?

It’s important to understand the difference between meltdowns and tantrums, as they are often confused. Both meltdowns and tantrums can be worse when a child is tired, hungry or sick.

The biggest difference between the two is the cause of the outburst. The same goes for comparing autism meltdown vs tantrum.

Meltdowns are generally caused by an individual’s inability to cope with overwhelming emotions, situations or sensory input, whereas tantrums are generally caused by frustration or wanting something that they cannot have.

It’s also important to note that meltdowns and tantrums can look similar, but they are not the same thing. It’s important to recognize the signs of both so that you can take steps to manage them.

How to Avoid Meltdowns and Tantrums

The best way to avoid meltdowns and tantrums is to create an environment where the child feels safe and supported. Creating a safe and nurturing environment can help the child feel secure and confident, and can help them to cope with difficult emotions and situations. Here are some tips for creating a safe and supportive environment:

• Establish consistent routines
• Set clear expectations and boundaries
• Provide positive reinforcement
• Listen to the child
• Encourage open communication
• Show understanding and empathy
• Provide comfort and reassurance
• Respect the child’s feelings
• Offer choices

Meltdowns and tantrums can be difficult to handle, but understanding the signs and how to manage a meltdown vs tantrum can make it easier. It’s important to remember that meltdowns and tantrums are not intentional and that it’s the child’s way of coping with an overwhelming emotion or situation. The best way to avoid meltdowns and tantrums is to create a safe and nurturing environment where the child feels secure and confident. With patience, understanding, and the right strategies, parents can handle meltdowns and tantrums and prevent them from occurring in the future.